How I learned to love my BODY and WEIGHT

It was eight years ago, six weeks postpartum, and at one my lowest weight I said to myself, "This cannot be what it feels like to love your body."  This was when I knew something had to change.

I did a LIVE sessions on Instagram this past week focusing on my journey to loving my body as I dealt with multiple miscarriages due to my extremely active lifestyle.  I believed what I was doing was healthy but in reality I was in an extremely mindset with my body and exercise.  You can read more about these experiences in this blog post 

I asked those who follow me on Instagram to ask any questions about the LIVE and one of the most asked was "How did you find your happy place with weight and your body?"  
Friends, this is the passion that brings me here! I have been a part of both extremes, unhealthy and overweight to overexercising and restricting. I want to make sure you understand and see your body is more than a number while finding joy in reaching physical and emotional goals.  Your value is entirely based on what you believe and do, not what you see on a scale.  

So how do you get there?? I am going to show you HOW and relate it to my own personal journey with finding my happy!

Download your FREE worksheets HERE to implement the practices listed below in your own life to help find YOUR happy place with your body and your weight. 

1.Own your Story, ALL parts of it.
Where you have been helped you become who you are today; the good and bad of it all.  There is so much more to wanting to lose weight or to looking a certain way.  Now is the time for you to STOP trying to lose weight for vanity reasons and focus on WHY you feel you need to lose weight.

There are parts of your life that have brought you to feel you do.  You need to stop running and hiding from them and look at those events as parts of your WHY.  

Maybe you were a star athlete is school and then didn't know how to live that life while being a mom. You need to WRITE YOUR STORY!

Maybe you had parents growing up that focused on what was good and bad for you, making you feel you had to look a certain way? WRITE YOUR STORY!

Maybe you felt you were always having to prove yourself to others in order to feel validated? (This is ME!) WRITE YOUR STORY!

Do you see what you need to do?? There can be multiple parts to your story, but understanding WHY you are in this place will be the BEST thing you can do to understand HOW you can get away from your negative feelings you have towards your body and self.

2. Determine what you value most
You ultimately get to place value you on whatever you want in your life.  This can be harmful to you when you give priority to something that is not actually part of your TOP 3 thing you value most.  In my case, I was placing my ideal of being skinny over my relationship with my spouse.  I was putting large amounts of effort, physically and mentally, into something that was not actually valuable to my life.

Being skinny was more important than making sure my marriage was thriving. That was a HUGE mental breakthrough for me.

Don't get me wrong, exercise and nutrition needed to have value in my life because my health is important, but not to the extreme I was believed.

So my question to you is...  Does what your body looks like, aka being "skinny," one of your TOP 3 life priorities??

If you can answer YES to this question, let reevaluate what healthy looks like to you by telling your story and making new health goals that have nothing to do with the way you look.  These can be goals such as:

Gain strength in the gym

Be more consistent on the weekends with your food.

Focus on what foods make your body feel good.

Increase your distance with your run.

Be consistent with your weekly workouts.

Strive to make these your health goals, not a number on the scale. These small little victories are the little steps that are going to help you achieve a larger physical goal down the road if you desire.

3. Communicate, communicate, COMMUNICATE.
You are not alone, ever.  Your family, friends, and I love you and want you to be happy, but they can only help if you let them know HOW.  They may continue to give you praise or roll their eyes when you get into such a negative space, but they do this because it is all they know how to do.  You need to TEACH them what is going to help you!

Not everyone speaks the same love language.  For me, what I did not need from my spouse was his continued "You are beautiful just as you are,' or "You are strong no matter what." While those are beautiful and important words to hear, I am not a 'words of affirmation' gal and those continued praises only made it worse.  I quickly took those words to mean that my hard work was worthless because it didn't matter if I did it or not, I was the same no matter what. 

That makes me sound like a horrible wife, which I likely was due to my unhappiness with myself, but what I needed instead was ACTION from him.

I needed to communicate with him as to how he could help me in a positive way.  I needed him to ask "where do you need the most help today?" and then act on that response. I needed a listener and a doer, not a cheerleader. His willingness to help me work through all these emotions and negative beliefs was the best thing he did for me and that was because I let him in.  

You need to be the first one to start this open communication with others so you can start to heal your relationship with them and your body.  You need to get vulnerable and allow there to be setbacks.  This is not just a learning experience for you, but for them as well.

4. Put ACTION to your words.
If you say you are going to change, you HAVE to do something to change.  You can not wake up the next morning and do not change anything you were before and expect to feel differently about yourself. 

YES this is the hard part.

YES this means you have to experiment and find what works for you and what does not. 

YES this means you have to take time for yourself. 

YES this is worth it.

YES you are worth it.

Some actions steps you can consider doing are:

  • Write in a journal about all your experiences and thoughts (positive and negative).
  • Make a Pros and Cons list for your current fitness and nutrition habits.  Just because you feel negative about yourself does not mean everything you are doing is harmful.  Find the good, not just the bad!
  • Develop a plan that is focusing on ONE BABY STEP at a time. You can't change everything at once so stop trying!

Lastly, get rid of anything or anyone that makes you feel less than worthy.  Social media is amazing yet destructive at the same time. They may be the nicest person, but right now you need space to allow the negative thoughts to dissolve and for you to become the best version of you possible!

My hope is that these steps, my experiences, and guidance can help you finally get to a place where you see your body as a beautiful gift from God.  Something that is remarkable, strong, brave, and HEALTHY because that is who you are, nothing less.  No number will help you rediscover that.

I would love to hear how these practices are helping you find peace with your own personal health journey. Email or DM me! Better yet, tag me in your post so I can see them in action!

I want you to implement these steps in your life so you can finally make the change to feel confident and happy with your body. 

You are beautiful, powerful, strong, and resilient! Don't believe otherwise!

PS DON"T FORGET TO DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE WORKSHEETS HERE and please share this post with anyone you feel could use it to help them make a positive change in their life!

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Hey friend! I am a wife to an amazing and dedicated Air Force Pilot, as well as a mom to three very beautiful, yet sassy girls. I started my own fitness journey 10 years ago when I knew that being a new mom was not meant to make me feel the way I did.  I knew I was better than the lies I was letting the world tell me.  I set out to change myself for the better and in the process I gained a passion to help other women experience the same joy! I may love to pound out the heavy weights but I also started with simple home workouts that I know work. I have a love for the outdoors as well as traveling. I want to make sure you find that same joy, living a life you love!